How to Deal With Unreasonable Demands From Your Boss

This another great article, you should read this when you having this kinda ''nightmare'' :D
I definitely will try this if I'm stuck in this kinda circumstances.

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6:45 PM. I’m waiting at a restaurant for a colleague. We have dinner plans, and she’s uncharacteristically late. Finally, she shows up, frustrated and disappointed.
“Lately, my boss has been making me stay after hours, even if I’m caught up on my work! She called me into her office at 5:30 PM tonight to assign a new project, knowing I had to leave at 6!”
Earlier that day, a longtime client came late for his coaching session. He’d never been late before, having always had control of his schedule at the architectural firm where he worked. That is, until management changed.

“My new boss assigned a totally unreasonable deadline. He has no idea how long it will take me to deliver the results that he wants.”
My client was feeling pressured and discouraged by having to perform at a level he couldn’t sustain. “This is killing my passion to do my best work.”
Sound familiar?

If your boss feels like the reincarnation of the ruthless editor in The Devil Wears Prada—full of unreasonable demands, issuing inhumane deadlines—you might be wondering:
What’s the best way to handle this situation?

How can I give my boss feedback without sounding like I’m just “whining?”
How can I communicate in a way that won’t jeopardize my reputation or position?
Here’s what I suggested to my colleague and to my client, and what I’d suggest for you, too:

1. Avoid Group-Griping Sessions

It’s tempting to gripe with co-workers about how unreasonable your boss is. And yes, we often feel better after venting and getting some support. But spewing out criticism and negativity is not productive—it doesn’t resolve anything.
Plus, the absolute last thing you want is word to get back to your boss that you’ve been complaining around the office.

2. Release Frustration First, Talk Later

If your boss is making unreasonable requests, you need to have a conversation about it.
But before that big conversation, it’s essential to release your heated, pent-up emotions, so that you’re even-keeled and ready for a calm, productive discussion.
To release feelings safely and effectively, try thwacking a pillow with a towel that’s knotted on one end (once you’re back home, of course). Or scream into the pillow (it muffles the sound). Even better, try verbalizing your feelings out loud as you thwack or scream.
“I’m so angry at you for ________.”
“You are so unreasonable and ________.”
“Why do you have to ________?”
Get all of those feelings out of your system in a safe, private space. That way, when it’s time for a face-to-face chat with your boss, you won’t be holding onto all of that bottled-up negativity. It will be much easier to express yourself with grace.

3. Script Your Request in Advance

That said, asking your boss to “behave differently” can still feel scary and stressful. To alleviate some of that anxiety, script out exactly what you plan to say in advance. Here’s some language that I suggested to my colleague and to my client:
Good morning [manager’s name],
Thank you for taking the time to meet with me today. I know how busy you are, and I hope this won’t take long. I want to do my absolute best work for you, and I need your help to make that possible.
Here’s what I’m running into:
When you [describe unreasonable demand], I find it hard to [describe how you’re not able to meet the demand]. This makes me feel [share how you feel].
This has happened on quite a few occasions: [list a few of them].
I realize that you have high expectations, and I am flattered that you believe I am capable of handling [unreasonable demand]. I have tried to find a way to [how you have tried to meet the unreasonable demand].
I’m finding that while [reasonable demand] can be done on schedule and with high quality, [unreasonable demand] cannot. Again, this is because [as above, explain why the unreasonable demand cannot be met, but with a little more detail].
As an alternative, I’d like to suggest: [offer alternative plan for meeting your boss’ request].
Thanks for your time, and thank you for listening.


During our next session, my coaching client had happy news to report: “That script worked. My boss totally got it. In fact, my boss actually apologized for being so focused on delivering results for the firm that he hadn’t assessed the time it would take for me to complete what he’d requested. So he revised his request to include a realistic timeframe.”
Remember: Your boss is a human being, just like you—capable of doing extraordinary work, and capable of making misjudgments, as well. But just because your boss makes an unreasonable request (or three) doesn’t mean that he or she is an “unreasonable person.”
When you voice your needs clearly and calmly, you can turn even the worst management nightmare in a productive conversation—creating a sane, humane place to do your best work.


Author : Dr. Suzanne Gelb is a psychologist, life coach and family law attorney.

10 Tips For Dealing With An Overly Demanding Boss

As per title, this one is extremely important! As an Secretary/ Personal Assistant i used to  get this kinda question during interview and even how to face it on the field.
What are you going to do when you have a demanding boss ? Even worse, an overly demanding boss.
I'm trying to reach out and find the article and answer regarding this matter, and i found this article really interest me and i truly get it and thank God i found it LOL :D
Consider I'm going to have an secondary interview few days ahead.
As for you probably has the same query like I do, hopefully this would help ;)

All jobs are demanding at times, and it’s often the boss’s responsibility to get her staff to rise to the occasion–but some bosses go too far by putting excessive pressure on their employees.
“An overly demanding boss might require you to work beyond the regular schedule even when the volume of work does not require it; he might insist on extra reporting that never even gets read; order lots of ‘special projects’; or want to approve every decision you make,” says Rita Friedman, a Philadelphia-based career coach and resume writer.
Ryan Kahn, a career coach, founder of The Hired Group, star of MTV’s Hired, and author of Hired! The Guide for the Recent Grad, agrees. He says an overly demanding boss is someone who sets extremely high standards and expectations on work deliverables or goals, which may be unrealistic or unsustainable. “If you find your project list growing and changing rapidly and performance targets increasing, you just may have an overly demanding boss.”
An overly demanding boss doesn’t empathize or understand what’s required for you to deliver results, and he will keep pushing you until you take action, adds Lynn Taylor, a national workplace expert and author of Tame Your Terrible Office Tyrant; How to Manage Childish Boss Behavior and Thrive in Your Job.
“Demanding bosses give you unreasonable deadlines, are not in tune with the hours it takes to meet objectives, won’t take the time to find out in advance what’s reasonable, can display little interest in your well-being, have trouble prioritizing, and give you little recognition when you do complete Herculean tasks,” she says. “They may not take the time to see if you have the tools or information you need to accomplish your assignments, and can make themselves unapproachable so that your only option seems to be: just do it.”
Why might a boss act this way? A desire to control everything; fear for his or her own job status; a yearning for perfection; or a sense of entitlement, Taylor says. “Whatever the root cause, these types of bosses are often like unruly toddlers who act as if the world really does revolve around them. Asking nicely doesn’t always occur to these bosses, and so the onus is on you to break your silence and be the voice of reason.”
An overly demanding boss can be extremely difficult to work with, and his behavior might cause a spike in stress levels, and a decline in morale and productivity.
“While a little bit of pressure can inspire workers to rise to the challenge, people who work for overly demanding bosses usually feel frustrated that their efforts are not rewarded, and as a result, they are unlikely to continue to pump out high quality work,” Friedman says. “A bad boss can also cause co-workers to turn against each other as they try to appease management, and there’s a big difference between healthy competition and infighting in the workplace.”

This type of exacting boss is likely to be an overbearing micromanager. “Not only does this take a toll on workers’ morale and the overall office environment, but it can actually have the opposite of the intended effect: When employees are constantly being pressured to perform at an unsustainable level or required to run every action through a higher-up, productivity tends to drop off.  It’s also common to find that overly demanding bosses end up having high-turnover workplaces, and when team members quit or are driven out, it puts even more of a burden on the remaining staff, which leads to even more employee burnout.”
Suzana Simic, manager of career services at Computer Systems Institute, adds: “Overly demanding bosses seem to regard their employees as dispensable commodities, rather than assets. With that being said, it can be extremely difficult to help solve a problem or prevent one from occurring when an employee feels bogged down by their overly demanding boss.” Employees of an overly demanding boss may also feel as though nothing they accomplish is ever enough, she says. “When an overly demanding boss comes into the room, the employees’ demeanor changes to one filled with stress and apprehension. Employees become weighed down with ‘pleasing’ the overly demanding boss, and they may create errors based on trying to be perfect.”
Another possible outcome: You may be more upset with yourself than you are with your boss because you’re caught between the conflict of wanting to perform and avoid appearing incompetent – and upsetting your boss by speaking up, Taylor says. “It’s bothersome because you feel you can’t ignite confrontation and ask for reasonable expectations. You may fear retaliation, passive-aggressive fallout, loss of job status or exciting projects, or even being terminated, which is a conundrum, until you muster the ability to face the problem head-on.”
Eventually the inner conflict you have with an overly demanding boss can consume you; it detracts from you doing your best work. “You end up with the double whammy of an intense workload, combined with a behavioral clash, sinking your productivity. Overbearing, insensitive bosses are counterproductive to the very goal they seek: more output from you.”
Kahn says though overly demanding bosses may be impatient, overly direct, and even intimidating; are not likely to accept excuses on missing deadlines or goals; and may even have a high churn rate through their staff as they search for individuals who can meet their high expectations — working for an overly demanding boss is not always a bad thing. “In many cases, these are high-performing individuals who are moving quickly up the corporate ladder. They set high expectations for their team since they have high expectations for themselves.  While working with an overly demanding boss may be challenging, it also has the potential to be an incredible learning experience. The key to success is learning to how to manage up with this personality type.”
Taylor says if you don’t learn how to manage up with a demanding boss, you will suffer the consequences of never feeling that your work is satisfactory. “The quality and quantity of your deliverables will decline, and so will your self-esteem,” she says. “You must learn how to bravely and clearly communicate the details of your assignments so that your boss is more aware. You cannot assume that your boss understands the hours associated with assignments. These bosses must be made aware of the importance of priorities and your human limits. Most importantly, you must take the initiative in creating mutually agreeable expectations.”

Jacquelyn Smith ,

Forbes Staff

Sulit Makan Pada Bayi Dan Anak

Kira dan Kara mulai GTM ketika usia 1-3 tahun. Makan sehari hanya 2 kali, dan itu pun harus dibawa keliling kompleks perumahan oleh Uti dan bibinya. Makanan yang masuk hanya nasi putih, tempe, atau satai, dan buah. Itu saja. Selain itu benar-benar tutup mulut. Mau menghabiskan porsinya itu perlu  usaha ekstra. Kalau makannya sama bundanya, duduk manis di meja hanya mau 2-3 suap, setelah itu bubar jalan, tutup mulut, dan menangis. Karena GTM inilah akhirnya BB Kira dan Kara jadi susah naiknya. Padahal ketika masa MPASI segala macam makanan mau. mulai dari puree sampai ikan laut tidak pernah ditolak. Lancar.
Saat tahu ada acara Parenting Club tentang cara mengatasi sulit makan pada bayi dan anak, saya langsung bertekad untuk ikut. Memang sih sekarang mereka sudah tidak GTM lagi, tapi saya takut kalau-kalau fase itu terjadi lagi. Jadi tidak ada salahnya untuk belajar lagi. Acara yang diadakan oleh Mothercare & ELC ini bertempat di Kidsfunction hall Tunjungan Plaza 5 dengan narasumber dr. Dian Pratamastuti, Sp.A, seorang dokter spesialis anak di Rumah Sakit Siloam Surabaya.

Menurut Dr. Dian, masa gerakan tutup mulut (GTM) yang dialami anak bukan merupakan penyakit, tetapi merupakan gejala adanya penyimpangan. Sulit makan dialami 25% anak, 40-70% di antaranya terjadi pada bayi lahir prematur atau memiliki riwayat sakit kronis. Sulit makan ini 33,6% terjadi pada anak usia pra sekolah, yaitu antara usia 4-6 tahun.
Adapun gejala sulit makan antara lain adalah sulit mengunyah, mengisap, menelan, sering menyemburkan atau memuntahkan makanan, makan berlama-lama atau tidak mau makan sama sekali. Bahkan beberapa anak cenderung memilih-milih makanannya dan memiliki kebiasaan makan yang aneh. Jika GTM berlanjut tanpa diperhatikan asupan gizinya, maka dapat menyebabkan anak memiliki gangguan asupan gizi, gangguan metabolism dan fungsi tubuh sehingga pertumbuhan anak menjadi terganggu.

Beberapa anak mengalami sulit makan karena hilangnya nafsu makan. Penyebab hilangnya nafsu makan antara lain gangguan fungsi organ tubuh, penyakit infeksi, dan faktor psikologis seperti suasana makan yang kurang menyenangkan. Untuk menangani sulit makan, orangtua harus mencari penyebabnya. Pemberian vitamin atau suplemen hanya berperan 20% dalam mengatasi anak sulit makan. Selain itu dibutuhkan kreativitas, kesabaran dan keseriusan mama.
Berikut beberapa tips yang dapat digunakan untuk mengatasi anak susah makan:

1. Kenali penyebabnya.
2. Jangan paksakan anak untuk makan.
3. Jaga perasaan anak. Pastikan mereka selalu senang dan mood dalam keadaan bagus.
4. Berikan makanan sesuai tahap usia anak.
5. Kenalkan makanan baru secara bertahap.
6. Perhatikan dan kenali makanan kesukaannya.
7. Buat menu makanan bervariasi, lucu dan menarik.
8. Beri porsi sedikit tapi sering.
9. Biarkan si kecil bereksplorasi dengan makanannya.
10. Ajak makan bersama keluarga. Jadikan saat makan menyenangkan, relaks, dan tunjukkan antusiasme Mama ketika melahap makanan.
11. Ajarkan perilaku makan yang baik dengan memberikan contoh dan buat jadwal makan yang teratur.
12. Sediakan camilan sehat, kurangi kudapan manis dan asin.
13. Libatkan anak ketika menyiapkan makanan.
14. Batasi beri minuman di sela-sela waktu makan.
15. Beri vitamin penambah nafsu makan jika diperlukan.
16. Hindari makanan cepat saji.
17. Jangan tawarkan makanan penutup di awal.
18. Minimalkan gangguan saat makan, seperti bermain, menonton TV, atau bermain gadget.
19. Beri pengertian tentang pentingnya makan, dengan memberikan contoh tokoh favorit superhero yang kuat karena makan makanan yang bergizi.
20. Gunakan alat makan yang lucu bentuk dan warnanya.
21. Beri pujian bila menghabiskan makanan.
22. Pijat perut anak dan bayi dapat membantu meningkatkan nafsu makan.

Mendengar penjelasan dari dr. Dian saya merasa agak lega karena telah menerapkan cara-cara yang tepat saat mengatasi GTM Kira dan Kara. Yang telah saya praktikkan adalah membacakan buku tentang sayuran, menyajikan makanan dengan piring-piring yang cantik, mengenalkan tokoh superhero yang kuat karena rajin makan sayur. Kalau Kara punya tokoh Supergirl sementara Kira dimotivasi oleh Spiderman. Mereka berdua ingin bisa jadi kuat seperti kedua tokoh itu, jadi harus mau makan dengan baik. Sejak masuk sekolah mereka memiliki banyak aktivitas sehingga lebih mudah saat diajak makan.
Kesimpulan saya, hal penting dalam mengatasi anak susah makan adalah peran orangtua, lingkungan, dan faktor pola asuh. Nah urban mama, berilah contoh perilaku makan yang baik kepada si kecil di masa belajarnya. Semoga ini bisa membantu urban mama yang sedang menghadapi anak sulit makan.

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Home made Ripped Jeans ..

Ripped denim still seems so in right now, but they are so pricey !! 
The good news is I found this great guide on Pinterest.
Grab an old pair of denim and distressed them away :D

Just grab a cheese grater, sandpaper and an unpicker and distress away!!

Bla bla bla bla .....

My mood is swinging, oftenly swinging lately. Thats probably what makes me headache.
Overthinking ? Not really, the power of acceptance. Thats what i'm trying to learn now.
Able to accept things as it is, accept the destiny that destine for me and my family.
Moral message is, never stop praying, trying. Though after we have it we usually never get enough, i never get enough. Is it my bad ? Or is it humane ?

I never thought it will be so hard being adult hahaha :D
actually it depends on how we think and act though, its just while i'm getting old
there is so many things in my head !!

even sometimes i don't even know what i'm thinking but i feel sick and headache.
I feel like there is so many imagination right into my bloody head!
Well, thats life just like a roller coaster. Ups and down...
I probably down now, and i'm not trying to take my self higher though.
I'm just adapt and adjust with the current situation itself towards my family, my children for sure.

Life need struggle, Life need healthy in mentally and physics. To be frank, life need bucks!! :D :D

Have a good day mates!

Kenapa sesuatu itu menjadi serius dan menyakitkan ? #selfreminder

Karena kita masukan dalam hati, kita pikirkan di otak kita, hingga menetap sudah.
Coba kalau kita anggap angin lalu, tidak penting, dengan cepat kita akan melupakannya. 
Toh, di dunia ini apapun yang dikatakan orang lain, bagaimana sikap orang lain terhadap kita, bukan berarti kebenaran mutlak, karena kitalah yang tau persis hidup kita sendiri.

_tere liye_